J. S. Jasko

Blog Post 1:
10 Tips for Enhancing Your Reading Experience

Posted by J. S. Jasko | September 7, 2024

We get it: In today’s fast-paced world with all its knickknacks, dating apps, and generation gaps, it’s getting harder to find time to read books anymore. Maybe you haven’t even read a book since your high school English teacher made you read that one about the star-crossed lovers in the roaring twenties trying to catch that white whale while being very complimentary toward those attractive leaves of grass.

But now with the highly anticipated new book series by J. S. Jasko on the horizon, it might finally be time to dust off those bifocals and get back in the game. So here are ten helpful tips to enhance your overall experience of reading J. S. Jasko’s award-winning books. And get this: These universal tips can also be used when reading other books by lesser authors for those of you who don’t appreciate fine literature!


1. When reading any book, it’s usually best to start with the first page, rather than the last page or somewhere in the middle. This way, you will actually know what’s going on in the story, and you also won’t spoil any of the major plot twists ahead of time, like the killer’s true identity, the secret that the talking bird overheard in the parlor, or why the mailman was kissing that mannequin during the surprise party like that.

2. The feel of paper might confuse you at first after so many years of going out of your way to avoid touching it. So to get reacquainted with your old pulpy pal, we recommend chopping down the tree your parents planted in their yard on the day you were born to observe the humble origins of the sensitive page.

3. Before you settle down and start reading, be sure to refill Grandpa’s prune jar so he doesn’t wander downstairs and interrupt you when looking for more shriveled purple lumps to stuff in his mouth.

4. If you did forget to refill Grandpa’s prune jar and now the old man won’t go back upstairs, you can place a two-by-six-inch piece of cardstock against the page you are currently reading and then safely close the book. This will miraculously mark your place in the book, known in certain social circles as a “bookmark.” Then when Grandpa is finally done flapping his gums about that time he went to the moving picture show and did the jitterbug in the street afterward or whatever, you can resume reading again exactly where you left off!

5. Enjoy a nutritious snack while you read, such as refreshing carrot sticks, crunchy chips with creamy hummus, or a full rack of baby back ribs: the zesty and tangy barbecue sauce slathered on your fingers will make turning the pages of your book a breeze.

6. If you find yourself having trouble concentrating while reading because the modern attention span can now only process ten-second videos of buzzworthy teens dancing in traffic, why not try listening to some soothing sounds of nature to help refocus your wayward mind? Popular choices include morning birdsong, calming rainfall, and that freckled neighbor kid guzzling a milkshake as he watches you through his window when you get home from work.

7. If you’re unfamiliar with any word you come across while reading (J. S. Jasko has a very deep and award-winning vocabulary), there’s no shame in looking it up in the dictionary! Just don’t tell your family members that you didn’t know what the word meant, because then you’ll definitely be shamed at the next family reunion: “Dennis had to look up ‘incomprehensibility’ and ‘lotion’ in the dictionary! How unlearned and sad! I definitely don’t want to be his partner in the sack race now.”

8. Change up your routine and try to read in different places around your hometown that you can’t quite seem to escape from: the local library, the local coffee shop, or the quiet sanctuary of the local abandoned mine shaft. Maybe the cool barista with all the face piercings will ask you what you’re reading, even though she can probably see the cover of your book from where she’s smoking a cigarette over by the window while her customers are looking for her.

9. You could even read your book out loud to others, like your fellow train passengers on the quiet car, a certain face-pierced barista, or your comatose brother after he kickflipped his head right onto that concrete. The doctors say he definitely can’t hear you, but maybe that cool nurse with the face piercings will.

10. If you still find yourself struggling to read after employing all of the previous tips, then it might be time to declare to your high school crush that books are for nerds and invest all your savings in cryptocurrency instead.

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Top attention-seeking comments
from people on the internet

Thanks to these awesome tips, I’ve become such a voracious reader, and now I also know lots of big words like “voracious”! I read every chance I get these days: like when I’m waiting at the bus stop, or performing my job as bus driver, or even in the courthouse during my trial for vehicular manslaughter. I can’t wait to read my lawyer’s plea bargain next!

Posted by distracteddriver911 on 9/7/24 at 7:15 a.m.

HVAE U SEEN ME PRUNES

Go back upstairs, Grandpa!!!

Posted by You on 9/7/24 at 8:01 a.m.

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