Selected Accolades
If we were to include every award that J. S. Jasko has ever won over the course of his illustrious literary career, your beloved internet server would grind to a halt, and then you’d never finish watching that video with all those cool scooter tricks. So here is a curated list of the author’s most esteemed prizes.
The Arthur A. Arthur Award for Most Artful Author
The Suzy B. Swizzlebee Selection for Most Scrumptious Sentences
Barney the Book Guy’s Favorite Writer
The Trudy Trailblazer Trophy for Most Relatable Women’s Fiction for Women
The Preston Pumpernickel Prize for Most Praiseworthy Pages
Barney the Book Guy’s Object of Desire
Moist Magazine’s Wettest Description of Marmalade
Muscleman Mike’s Macho Medal for Manliest Metaphor
Writer Most Seen Through Barney the Book Guy’s Binoculars at Night
The Tiny Toddler Title for Best Escapist Fiction I Can Read in My Bedroom While Mommy and Daddy Scream About Cold Meatballs in the Kitchen
Your Dad’s Extra-Firm Handshake
Most Mentions in Barney the Book Guy’s Murder-Suicide Note
Past Appearances
All appearances and readings featured a personalized wave from the author behind a generously distanced rope barrier and one complimentary resuscitation for each guest who lost consciousness from being in the presence of such a great writer.
Bookhenge
(special guest appearance by Parker the Parkour Poet)
The Wet Cough Bookstore—We’ve Got More Wet Coughs Than Books!
The Tree Graveyard
(special guest appearance by that guy from your high school who wrote a vampire book)
Parker the Parkour Poet’s Hospital Room
(special guest appearance by the Grim Reaper)
Dr. Barry’s Bargain Basement Books and Botox
The Amazing Author Arena for Astounding and Awe-Inspiring Authors
Parker the Parkour Poet’s Funeral
(special guest appearance by Jellybean the Bereavement Clown)
Your Older Brother’s Bedroom Library Featuring Three Used Copies of Books He Had to Read in High School and One Paperback Volume of Knock-Knock Jokes
HOME
ABOUT
Books
Accolades & Appearances
Blog
